The Miserable Relaxing I haven’t taught summer school in years. After teaching a bunch of high school teenagers English and test taking skills I am always in desperate need of a long break even if it means without pay. When my summer vacation began in June I was beat. The only solution for me was to pretend to go on some sort of schedule to help me be somewhat productive with my time off. You know get my life back on track. My summer routine consisted of me setting my alarm to rise and shine around 8:30 am which really meant 11 o’clock in the morn or noonish. And since I awoke so late there would be no time to exercise since I promised myself to do it in the morning so I could make sure to leave my afternoon open to finish my screen play, finalize my sitcom pilot and produce my own radio show. Gulp. As I return to work after a hot summer break I must console myself with the fact that I still have until Labor Day to feel like a failure for not meeting my goals YET!
Instead I will lounge in my backyard sipping my soda water and dreaming of what I need to get done.
It is the middle of August and I am about to begin another school year. Ugh. That’s right. “Back to School”. The simple phrase, “Back to School” makes most people wince and their anus tighten, even if their out of school…because summer is over. Whose idea was it to begin school in the middle of August?
Everyone has to change their vacation plans cuz schools that normally begin right after Labor Day now begin in August and how is a teacher suppose to compete for kid’s attention in August? Aren’t we all suppose to be swimming or going to the beach or hanging out in malls window shopping since the economy is so bad but we can’t stay inside our homes cuz of the unbelievable heat wave. Yes we are having record heat waves throughout the U.S. time to go back to school and sit in over crowded
classrooms without air conditioning. Sounds like an ideal way to instruct students.
The real reason most schools have begun earlier is so high school students can do better on standardized testing as well as Advanced Placement testing. We are stealing kid’s summers away from them so they can hurry up and go so they “learn more” and “improve their test scores”.
Cuz if you have lousy test scores we punish you and take funding away from you so good luck. So “No Child Left Behind” really means “No Child Left Untested” and “Race to the Top” means start school super early so everyone can test better because we all know how important tests really are in real life. Hey, I gotta go I’m already late for my midterm marriage test.
This is Stef
The Miserable Liberal
About four years ago credit card companies suddenly increased their customer’s interest rates to over 23% because…they could. I called my credit card company Chase Manhattan disputing the change and while speaking with a supervisor, suddenly I was listening to a recorded message, which informed me, “Chase Manhattan would no longer accept calls from this number, further correspondence would need to be in writing due to my aggressive TONE!”
Sure we will change the terms of our previous contractual agreement but if you get snippy about our criminal practices, we will ignore you because no one will do anything about it. Now, if you excuse us we need to commit world wide fraud on an epic level.
That was the day I swore that once this debt was paid off, I would NEVER – NEVER do business with JP Morgan Chase Manhattan and since they’re all in bed together Bank of America and Citigroup can suck it too.
By the way did you know in Florence during the Renaissance, the Arte del Cambio – guild of mercantile money – changers who facilitated the city’s international trade- made the cheating of clients punishable by torture? Rule 70 of the guild’s statutes stipulated that any member caught in unethical conduct could be dispcilined on the rack “or other corrective instruments” at the headquarters of the guild. It really was a time of enlightenment.
Don’t you think it is about time that we actually had some sort of justice served for all the ass wipe Wall Street Bankers that made it their life’s mission to impose “creative banking” upon us all?
Oh, the good old days and the “rack”. I say let CEO Jamie Dimon, Brian Moynahan of Bank of America and Vikram Pandit of Citigroup eat cake in prison. Yum!